I'm lucky I have a job. I know that, but answering phones is definitely not what I want to do forever (or for the rest of 2009). But I can't complain... They laid off about 10 percent of our staff here. But I'm really scared to find a new job, mainly because I'm scared I'll get hired at a new job, then I will make mistakes and get fired- and then I will have NO JOB!
I recognize that my current job is pretty easy and pays pretty well (for what I'm doing.)

I wonder if other people are feeling the same way. Like, I might as well stay in this unfulfilled career, because it is a paycheck; Rather than starting there own business or going back to school.

I've been toying around with the idea of going back to school to get my master's in Arts Management. But I'm not sure if I really want to go back to school JUST because I LIKE being in school. Does that make sense?
A few of my friends are graduating with their MFA's in Acting this month. I'm definitely jealous of all the training they have received, but I am not jealous of the student loans they are going to be paying.

I'm annoyed and struggling to pay my 10,000 of debt off, I can't imagine having $200,000!!!!!

I definitely don't have the money to go back to school right now. I also want to be out of CC debt by the time I go back... Ick- that could be a while.

Wow I haven't written on this blog in forever!!!!!!!!

I've been doing pretty well paying off my debt. Not great but Ok.

I had completely paid of f my Visa, but somehow I charged another 300 dollars on it :(.

I quit my part time job, because it really wasn't worth it to just work once a week, and let's face it I spent most of the money I earned going out after work. So now I just like to stay in on Friday nights.

Here is my delima....

I get paid on the 30th of the month.

Our rent is due on the 1st.

My roommate writes one check for all of the rent, therefore she has to collect the rent ahead of time to deposit it into her account.

So today (9/29) she's depositing my rent check ($650) when I only have $150 in my account.

THIS STRESSES ME OUT! Yes, my paycheck is direct deposited and everything so it probably will be fine. I don't like to risk bouncing the check. I felt like I was doing really well having $150 dollars left over at the end of this month, but now i'm just worried about it.

When my roommate asked for my rent check on thursday (9/25) I had to tell her that I don't get paid until the 30th. It makes me feel like I'm a bad person or a bad roommate not to be able to just hand it over. But tomorrow I could give her the rent in cash if I wanted. But on thursday I can't.

Weekend

I know this blog is supposed to be purely for Personal Finance, but sometimes life spills over into blogs.

This weekend my friend was intown from Detroit.
He and I were really good friends before he moved out of the city 6 months ago.
We spent lots of time together, and over our two year friendship I began to have more than just friend feelings for him. Being such good friends with someone of the opposite sex is kinda hard sometimes. It always seemed like I was the most important girl in his life (since I was the one he spent most of his time with), but we were just friends. Anyway when he moved away I was heart broken and literally cried for days. Knowing that it would never really work out I tried to get over it, but seeing him this weekend, brought me back to square one.


Ugh. This weekend I spent alot of time waiting by the phone for him to confirm out tentative plans and things like that. I don't like to be that girl and I haven't been since he left.

He's so wrong for me. For example:

• He's an Atheist. While I respect his views, I know that I don't want to date someone seriously who doesn't believe in God at all.
• He's a Socialist. He is an active member of a socialist group that I can't remember the name of. While I respect his political opinions, I can't really understand how he thinks democracy is going away, and other nonsense.
• He's a pot head. I've never done drugs, and I just don't really like to be around it. Especially someone who does it so frequently.

So those are the basic reasons why he's wrong for me. He's a good person and friend. He's loyal and giving and trustworthy. These are reasons I like him.

I just want to be over it.

Ramblings..

I'm in my new apartment and it's so much better.
It's cheaper. $650! I'm pretty sure I've said this all before.

So it's been nice because I haven't been as strapped for cash as I normally am.
Which means I've been spending more than I should.

May I take a moment and tell you how I loathe group birthday dinners?
I do.

1. There are normally alot of people, more than 10, so you really can only talk to a few people.
2. I really hate it when someone is a heavy orderer and orders bottles of wine/appetizers galore. It is assumed I want some of everything, which I don't.
3. The bill. This is my biggest problem. The dinner is normally divided up evenly among the group, excluding the birthday girl/guy. I am happy to put in some money for my friend's dinner. But I HATE paying a share for the appetizers and wine I did not have.

This dinner came out to $80 a person. To me that is so much. Especially since my dinner was $20 and probably and additional $20 for drinks/tip/friends share.

I know what you're thinking. "Hey Dainty Dollar, why don't you speak up about it, or just not go to the dinner?"

Well it's hard to do that. The boys in the group are the heavy orderers, and they well off , so they just don't understand.

I could just skip the dinner. That is an option, but it was one of my best friends birthday. She came to my bday dinner (which by the way was about 40 a person. Much more resonable.)

Changing the Subject

Anyway. I need to start a savings account. I like to watch Suzi Orman. I think she has some really good advice. On her segment "Can I afford it?" she often nags on people for only have like $18,000 in their savings account. I'm thinking, uh oh. I don't have $18 in a savings account.

Travel to the Beach

I am going on vacation starting Thursday night! I haven't been on vacation in two years. I fly to Atlanta thursday night after work, then Friday my cousin and I are driving down to a beach house my Aunt rented for us. Nice huh? My aunt is wealthy and generous. My flight ($400) was paid for with my Economic Stimulus Check! The goverment said spend, and I said ok!

I really think that I will spend less money at the beach. I will be in a small beach town outside of Savannah,GA. Things will be less expensive I think, compared to pricey nyc. Plus I don't think we are going to do that much eating out/going out. We will probably just lay on the beach and sip margaritas while reading the latest chick lit. Maybe I'll find a Personal Finance book to read. Any suggestions.

I'm going to try and come up with a budget for the trip.... This may take some time.

Changes!

I love my new apartment.
My roommates are so nice and clean. They are also healthy eaters and workout, and that encourages me to do the same. I've actually been to the Astoria park several times to go walking/running. I used to be really active growing up. I was a tumbler/cheerleader all my life and I was in good shape. I never really worked out in college, except in dance class and when I was in musicals that required dancing. So now I'm trying to work out and eat better. My body is like WTF is going on? haha. I'll get used to it.

Ok finances......
I didn't have to pay rent in August, which is fabulous. I paid $200 on my VISA and $200 on my AMX.

I'm hoping to do the same in September. I've been kinda splurging lately. I got my nails/toes done $24 and I bought two new items of clothes. But to be fair, my jeans had holes in them. And I desperately needed another dress to wear to work. My shopping total was $98.

Budget

I want to make a budget.
Never in my life have I ever stuck to one.
I have no idea where my money goes.
I have a hunch it is spent mostly on food/eating out.
I cannot cook. Really the only thing I cook is spaghetti (boiled noodles and Ragu sauce).
Cabs. I spend alot on cabs. Probably 30 week on cabs. (I work really late on Saturdays
and I live in East Harlem).

I try to bring my lunch to work, meaning I bring a Lean Cuisine (about $4). But I haven't in a while, because I have not been to the store in a while.

Maybe I'll start saving reciepts.

Anyone know how to make a budget?
I need help!